Bill Cipher : An Introduction

TW:Abuse (Not Descreptive)

I’m not sure how to start this because i don’t know how to introduce bill.

he’s bill

Bill is many things; the bane of my existence as well as my one unsatiable, recurring desires

There was a time in my life when i loved bill and practically would do anything for him, these times of my life i wish i could forget. these moments are bitter sweet because although bill has and continues to cause me immense pain i wouldn’t be me without him.

I hate Bill so much! i hate that i loved/love him? i hate that i cant stop thinking about about him but i would cut off my hand before i ever reach out to him.

sigh

This is confusing. Bill isn’t a single person

Bill is a collective noun

A group of people I’ve encountered in my not very many years on this earth that just remind me of him. Bill Cipher. My heart goes out to those that already know who he is, but if you do not…

who is Bill Cipher?

For a a more fan girl type / deep dive into bill type of explanation i suggest you look at this while i explain what i mean when i say i have met Bill Cipher’s before.

He is a fictional character from one my favorite animations growing up (Gravity Falls) i still love that show with every bone i have in my body it is just so amazing and it is the reason why i got into conspiracy theories in the first place. Bill is an interdimensional demon. He tends to trick people into letting him into their head in order to get what he wants, its his thing. He’s very manipulative and once he’s in your head getting him out is a whole other thing. Getting rid of him for good is damn near impossible and i remember it used to drive me crazy as a kid because he just always used to find his way back on the screen and back into our main characters lives somehow, but its not like he ever really left anyway.

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That is who he is. A manipulator that makes you feel so loved that the moment he steps back you feel like your whole world is crashing down before you. A liar who’s words you cherish because he made you believe that no one else was capable of loving someone as difficult as you and believed him. He’s the reason everyone thinks your so messed up or maybe it isn’t even his fault and this is just who you are and you do need him.. i don’t know.

I see him even when i don’t want to because i live with him and he loves to call me names and then tell me he loves me. Yes he loves me despite the times his anger got the best of him i suffered physically for it. but we don’t talk about that because its the past and I’m still holding on to it. its not a big deal because he did it out of love.

And what about the times he’s told you he can’t stand the look of you’re face? '“You’re disgusting.”

“You’re just like your mother.”

“You don’t deserve to have my surname you are an embarrassment to the [insert surname here]’s”

“..If you somehow make it to college.” This one got to me, I’ve never been smart enough for Bill and i never will be.

There's really no way of winning
If in their eyes you'll always be a dumb blonde

No Neveah you’re being dramatic. He said that out of love

I see him at school, he sits beside me, across the room from me and right Infront of me talking and flirting, madly in love with the people who hurt me. A love that seems to grow the more i tell him it hurts me. But its fine he told me 6 months ago that he would stop. He also never celebrates my wins with me. I came out top in my class once and not even a congratulations or a smile. Being the dumb friend isn’t fun. He never calls me pretty, never compliments me when i look good, I’d get compliments from everyone but him, him who matters the most to me.

“i don’t tell you because it’s obvious you look good, you already know you look good why would i tell you?” okay sure.

'“Why do i need to tell you that you look good? It’s giving insecurities and I’m not having it.” okay sure

'“Fine, I’ll tell you that you look good more often then.” No thank you.

i hate feeling like I’m begging

Begging..

Begging for love. One of the worst feelings in the world. No matter what you do they just wont like you and you are simply just you.

Why does Bill hate me so much? I wish i knew and i wish i didn’t care. But its fine one day he won’t have to worry about me having his surname anymore and neither will he have to worry about calling me pretty.